Bad Dreams
by MikiMuo
Summary: Allen closed his eyes and pulled at the ropes that held his hands above his head. Memories are haunting Allen but will he ever tell Kanda his past and who is the new exorcist? AllenXKanda AllenXOC WARNING: YAOI, RAPE, VIOLENCE, LEMON starts in chap.3
1. PROLOGUE

**HI! MikiMuo here! well this is a preveiw just wondering if i should continue or not WARNING CONTAINS VIOLENCE, RAPE AND YAOI**

**Also note that I made Allen the uke in this fic.... PLS review but don't flame...**

Allen closed his eyes and pulled at the ropes that held his hands above his head. He wanted to scream but the dirt filled rag in his mouth kept him from screaming. 'Why me' he thought, 'don't do this to me'.

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Allen woke with a start, he had that dream again, when would he forget about had happened beck then? Allen pushed the covers off himself and decided to head to the training floor, maybe that would distract him. "Oi baka moyashi, were are you going?" Kanda sat up in the bed just as Allen had opened the door. "Kanda!" Allen was surprised that his lover was awake at this time, "Uhh I couldn't sleep so I'm going to train." Kanda smirked then stood up and walked over to Allen, "Then let me join you." Even if Allen had said no Kanda wouldn't have lessened so Allen just agreed.

As the two trained Allen started to calm down and focus more on training then his dream. Allen dodged another one of Kanda's blows and went in for an attack but stopped mid-way. "What are you doing baka?" Kanda said not letting his guard down and flowed the line of Allen's eyes. Allen was looking at a group of people walking by being lead by Komui. Kanda realized something was really wrong when Allen started to back up. 'No' Allen thought to himself 'they can't be'. Komui noticed the boys and led the little party over to them. It took all Allen had not to turn and run as the people came closer. Kanda noticed Allen tensing up so he moved closer to him and turned to face the on comers.

Komui walked over to the bays and started "Allen, Kanda this man here has been found compatible with innocence and the other three are going to finders." Komui finished and the first one took that as a sign to introduce himself. "I am Sato and the guys behind me are John, Catty, and Len." By now Allen's face was white as a sheet. Kanda sighed and turned "See ya." Kanda was taking Allen back to their room, what ever had made him freeze like this had to do with those men. "Oh Kanda," Komui yelled as they left "You have a mission, be at my office in ten!"

"Oi, Baka!" Kanda was shouting at the younger boy, "What happened? Oi!" Allen didn't respond but just sat on his bed. "Che, I have a mission I will be back within a week, tell me then got it?!" Allen nodded his head slightly as Kanda worriedly left the room.

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"No!" Allen screamed as greedy hands trailed down his chest, "Please s-stop." The only reply that Allen got was a slap and a greedy voice saying, "Your master failed to pay us back, so you will have to pay instead." Allen squeezed his eyes and let a tear fall.

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Allen didn't want to leave the safety of his room but he couldn't get back to sleep either. Kanda had only been gone one night but this night felt longer than any other night because he was having those dreams again. Also the new exorcist that looked to familiar would be staying two rooms away making Allen even more alert in his sleep. 'Could it get any worse?' He asked himself; the dreadful truth was that it could.

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**Talk with the characters** (random rant)

Allen: I dont want to know what happens next....

Kanda: HAHA I AM SEME

MikiMuo: *hits kanda with book* yes yes and we are all proud of you...

Allen: Im not... I don't like being the uke...

MikiMuo: Sorry but you make a cute uke ^.^

Kanda: PLS tell MikiMuo to continue otherwise I will be back to being the stupid uke

Allen: No one cares what I think..........


	2. Bitter Sweet Dream

**HI! MikiMuo is back! sorry it took so long to update I want to thank you for all the comments it kept me from quitting also all the comments about the size im sorry that my chapters are short but please bear with me as I hate writing long chapters  
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**This Chapter is not that much Yaoi but the next chapter will have lots of lemons and probably be longer so look forward to it XD**

**Also this chapter has some one sided LaviXallen forgive me for putting that in a yullen I will make up for it later  
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**I DO NOT OWN ANY THING OF D Gray Man (BUT I WISH I DID) I ONLY OWN SATO (WHICH IM NOT THAT PROUD OF) **

**Please review i don't mind criticism but no flaming PLS**

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Bitter Sweet Dream**  
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Allen was out of bed bright and early ordering any thing he could think of. Allen always preferred to eat his worries away. "Morning Allen!" Linalee walked up with a bright smile on her face and carried a large paper bag. "Oh Linalee! Good morning, why are you up this early?" Linalee walked up beside Allen and leaned on the counter, "Nii-san asked me to help clean his desk and you?" Allen sighed and carried his overflowing tray to the nearest table. Linalee followed a little confused then she jumped in with an answer to her own question, "Oh! Kanda just left on a mission right? Aha you can't sleep without your love can you?" Allen blushed and shoved a spoonful of berries into his mouth, "Be quit Linalee, I asked you not to keep going on about Kanda and me." It was best if she thought that was the only reason he was up so early. "Eh? But your reactions are so cute; you blush when I just mention his name." Allen choked on the fruit he had just swallowed and after a couple glasses of water he tried to recover himself, "Linalee! I don't blush when I hear Kanda's name!" Linalee smiled and stood up, "Whatever you say but don't worry Kanda will be back soon." She skipped away and turned the corner leaving Allen to drown in his embarrassment.

Allen just walked out of the cafeteria still slightly blushing when Lavi jumped on him from behind. "Allen-kun!" Allen struggled to get out of the death grip Lavi had on him, "Uh hi Lavi, what is it?" Lavi smiled not loosening his hold on the young boy, "Oh Komui wanted to see after lunch you about a new training program he wanted to try out, but its early morning now so Allen let me spend time with you." Allen looked up shocked at Lavi, "Lavi I'm busy and the sooner I see Komui the better." Lavi tightened his grip on Allen, "Allen it won't take much time." One of Lavi's hands had found its way under the loose training shirt Allen had on and began to trail along his chest, "Lavi! Stop!" Allen always thought of Lavi as a friend but lately Lavi had wanted to be more than just friends, "I won't stop, Kanda is not here to keep you from me and…" Lavi was suddenly interrupted by an unfamiliar voice, "Get out of my way would you I can't get into the dinning room." Allen looked up and saw the face of Sato. Lavi sighed and let go of Allen and walked away glaring at Sato.

Allen stared at Sato unable to move. "T-thank you," he finally managed to get out. Sato grinned, "You're as cute as ever I bet the only thing that is different about you is your body size." Allen's eyes widened and he started to back away. "I-I need to go see Komui…" Sato slightly laughed and walked into the dinning hall. 'First Lavi then the guy named Sato,' thought Allen as he leaned on the stone cold wall trying to regain his composure but after a few weird glances Allen decided to walk. He didn't know where he was going just that right now he wanted to be anywhere but here at the order. Allen wanted to be with Kanda who was his support; he wanted everything to go back to normal.

After walking for about five minutes Allen decided that he needed a destination. Komui's office seemed like the safest and most distracting place. As he walked to Komui's he couldn't help but think of why he was so afraid of Sato. A stranger he had just met shouldn't make him feel so uneasy. Was there more to Sato than what he was seeing? Something deep inside was telling him to stay away, but Allen hated the feeling of not trusting, he hated fearing another human. He lived for humans and akuma so why would this one person make him so uneasy? Allen wanted to trust but something was keeping him from trusting.

Allen absentmindedly walked into large stack of papers that blocked the door way to Komui's office. "Man, the science department already has lots of work they don't need me making more." Allen sighed and bent down to pick up the papers, hoping that they weren't organized in any special way. Allen glanced down at the sheet he was holding "Sato Balk: Age-21, Birth date-May 6th, Past-Unknown, Innocence type-Equipment" Allen quickly grabbed the rest of the papers and threw them onto of the stack. Balk where had he herd that name before?

"Allen… Allen-kun!" Komui waved from the other side of the room breaking Allen's train of thought. "Oh Komui, sorry I was thinking about something." Allen stood up and walked over to Komui trying to focus on the matter at hand. "Lavi told me you wanted to see me about a new training program?" Komui gave his all too well known mischievous grin and began shouting, "Yes! That is correct you will be the test subject for a new training program I call 'Komui is the best trainer'." Allen wasn't sure how he should respond to this so he just stood there wishing that he wasn't there. Komui continued, "Although the name has nothing to do with the actual training program I thought it sounded cute! Ehem Anyways back on topic I am having you and Sato train together in a 4 day training program." Allen's heart almost stopped a 4 day training program with Sato? "Komui couldn't we wait till Kanda got back and do the training with him?" Komui looked at Allen with a blank look, "Why would I do that? Anyways Allen even if Kanda was back I would still have you do this training with Sato because his innocence is quite different than what we have seen before and this training should help you with fighting the Noah." Allen looked up, "How is that?" Before Komui could respond Sato's voice came from behind Allen, "My innocence can take on any attribute I wish it to. So if I wish it to make me have traits that a Noah would than it can." Komui cut in again, "But it has its limits whichever form he chooses his innocence to be in it has to stay that way for 24 hours." Allen stepped away from Sato, "I see, so Komui when are we starting this?" Sato smiled and answered before Komui could, "At dusk tonight."

Allen sat in the dinning room for super receiving worried glances from his friends in the order. Lavi couldn't sand it anymore, "Allen what's wrong you haven't eaten anything and that look is not like you at all; if it about earlier today I…" Allen cut him off, "Lavi don't worry you aren't the cause of this." Allen turned to the rest of the people around the table, "Sorry guys don't worry about it me, I just to think about a few things." Allen received a few more glances before everyone went back to eating. Allen didn't want the others to worry especially when he wasn't sure why he was so worried in the first place. By the end of the meal Allen was talking cheerfully with everyone again and had come up with a reason why he was nervous. 'Its those dreams I got them just as Sato came so I'm probably just putting the stress from that on him' Allen kept on telling himself this as he talked with the others yet somewhere inside he knew there was more to it than that.

Lavi helped Allen carry the dishes over to Jerry, "Hey Allen are you sure I'm not the reason for you acting strange at super?" Allen smiled, "Lavi I don't really want to think of what happened earlier but I can truly tell you that I was not thinking about that at super." Lavi sighed and turned around, "Allen I want to this properly now I know you are going out with Kanda but I cant help but feel this way: Allen would you chose me over Kanda." Allen looked at ground trying to figure out how to answer his best friend that just confessed to him. After a few minutes in silence Allen answered, "Um Lavi I-I'm sorry but I can't see as more then my best friend really I'm sorry…" Lavi looked into Allen's eyes then smiled and walked off to give the dishes to Jerry. Allen followed Lavi but was stopped by Sato's voice, "Allen its time to train."

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**Talk with the characters** (random rant)

Allen: Is it just me or am I really depressed here...

MikiMuo: Sorry Allen its only because your the uke

Lavi: I finally appear!!!!

MikiMuo: Yo Lavi now that Kanda is gone you have Allen all to yourself huh?

Kanda: Who said I was gone? Lavi... I need to have a word with you *DEATH OURA*

MikiMuo: *Hides behind Allen* Lavi I will come to your funeral...

Lavi: *runs* Please reveiw!!!!

Kanda: Mugan acctivate! Get back here you BAKA!


	3. A Nightmere Full of Memories

**HI MikiMuo here XD sorry for the wait every one Ive been busy with so many things... But I will try and get the next chapter up faster XP **

**I have to say WARING WARING WARNING THIS CONTAINS LEMON I also have to apologize for the lack of Kanda in this chapter but i do promise that he will be back in the next chapter. XD**

**Lastly umm what i said about making my chapters longer... sorry don't count on it i just find it difficult to write long chapters XD I hope that doesn't bug you to much XD  
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**I DO NOT OWN ANY THING OF D Gray Man (BUT I WISH I DID) I ONLY OWN SATO (WHICH IM NOT THAT PROUD OF) **

**Please review i don't mind criticism but no flaming PLS**

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A nightmere full of memories **  
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Allen slowly fallowed Sato into the training room, the room was dimly lit and had a stone pillar every 18 meters or so. "We will train for 5 hours then take a break for an hour, we will continue like this for all 5 days." Sato pronounced as they entered the room. Allen nodded and walked to the opposite side of the room and waited for Sato to make the first move. "Now, now Allen why do you seem so on edge? Is it because you have been having bad dreams?" Allen's eyes became wide with fear, "W-what are you t-talking about?" Sato smirked, "Oh so you haven't been getting my message at night I can always show you." Allen stared to back away, "You- you are the one who gave me those dreams!" Sato laughed, "It seems your memory is a bit slow, I think I will make it quicker for you." Allen remembered who this was. This was the man who swore that Allen belonged only to him; this is the man who raped him four years ago. "S-stay away." Sato continued forward, "Allen I thought you were stronger after four years of training." Allen was now backed up against a wall and no matter how hard he tried his innocence wouldn't activate. Sato was now leaning on the wall cutting off any escape for Allen. The young exorcist was frozen with fear as Sato's face drew nearer. Sato didn't hesitate at all and crushed Allen's lips with a kiss. Allen tried to resist the older man for as long as he could but when Sato bit his lip his mouth opened. Sato didn't waist a second was immediately exploring the younger boys mouth with his tongue. Allen couldn't say that he hated the kiss, but he most defiantly could say that he hated the person giving it. Sato hurriedly unbuttoned Allen's jacket and struggled to get it off Allen without breaking the kiss. Once Sato got the jacket off of Allen he pulled away from the kiss and pushed Allen to the ground. His hand tailed over Allen's now bear chest and stopped at his left nipple and started to play with it while he moved his lips to the other. Allen finally got enough courage to push Sato away. "Oi- oi you pushed me away that deserves punishment." The smile on Sato's lips sent chills down Allen's back. Sato removed his own jacket, pinned Allen's hands together and tied them. "Each time you lash out or disobey a new 'accessory' is added." Allen inhaled wanting to hit the man on top of him so hard but knew he couldn't. Sato grinned and resumed playing with Allen. Sato bit; and bit hard on Allen's nipple, but even though the pain Allen refused to give Sato the pleasure of him crying out. Sato's right hand found its place at line of Allen's pants. Sato burst out laughing as Allen cringed and tensed, "Allen-chan don't worry I'm not doing _that_ quite yet, lets let this last." Allen clenched his teeth and closed his eyes if he was going to it hurry up and do it. Sato's right hand trailed the line of Allen's pants about five times before prying under them. Sato's other hand played with Allen's nipple a little more before it joined the other hand in prying away the younger boy's pants. Allen couldn't believe that this was happening again, and this time it wasn't a dream. Sato pealed Allen's pants off leaving Allen's lags exposed to the cool musty air. "STOP! Please, please, please!" Allen no longer could remain calm and he let the tears fall. Sato snickered again, "I told you, I'm not doing that yet but that face makes me want to do you even more; expect it to come sooner than later." Allen closed his eyes and drifted away to the back of his mind to escape the pain leaving him with one thought 'Kanda were are you…?'

Allen lay cold on the floor unable to do anything as his body was being violated by this man. Sato continued to kiss the waist line of the boy leaving love marks along the way. After a few more minutes of this Sato began to get bored. "I think It's about time for me get serious Allen-chan." Allen eyes shoot open as Sato removed his own pants and pulled down Allen's boxers. Again Allen cried out, "No! Please, please no!" Allen's cries were responded with a slap and a finger in the back. "Be glad I'm preparing you." Allen tried to yell back but at that moment Sato hit his sweet spot. "Ahhhahh!" Sato gave a toothy grin, "It's farther back then I remember but that is because you're a growing boy is it not?" Allen didn't hear what Sato was saying he was jute trying not to cry out again; he didn't want to be pleased by this mans hands. "Allen-chan don't hold back, let's make this enjoyable for both of us." Allen gathered up enough to respond to Sato, "NO! Get off me you freak!" Sato's expression turned cold and he removed his finger from Allen, "Fine I'm though with being nice. Brace your self, I plan to make this hurt." Allen clenched his eyes shut and turned his head away. He didn't want to see this happen; Sato though wanted Allen to see every bit even if though a dream. Sato finished pulling down his boxers and positioned himself on Allen. Allen's body tensed at the feel of Sato's member sitting at his entrance.

Sato breathed in then thrust; Allen despite his best efforts cried out in pain. Sato didn't wait for Allen to adjust before he began to move. "You're tighter than I thought you would be." Allen didn't care what Sato said, he just wanted it all to stop, stop the tears, and stop the screams. Sato smiled at the tears the rolled down Allen's cheeks. "You want someone to save you?" Allen turned his head away as a response. Sato leaned over to Allen's ears breaking the rhythm, "No one will save you, not even your dear lover." Allen clenched his eyes and Sato resumed the rhythm from before.

Contrary his will Allen's cries and screams began to become ones of pleasure. "S-Sato, no-no more." Sato didn't bother to hide his surprise, "Even now you can still ask for me to stop? I have to admit that your self control is surprising." It took all of Allen's strength to glare at Sato. Sato wanted to break that strength and make Allen call out to him; Sato began to trust harder. I worked. "M-more please…" "My name, say my name." "S-Sato more…" Sato slightly blushed than gave into Allen request. In the next few minutes Sato released and Allen passed out.

Sato lay down beside Allen and stared at the roof. He had done as he had wanted but he knew even though he taken Allen again he would never be his. The cute young boy that he fallen in love with now had a lover and hated him.

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///FLASHBACK///

Sato tossed an empty wine bottle on the ground as Len, John and Catty walked around the corner. Catty sat beside Sato on the bed, "We let the kid go as you asked but why?" Sato pushed his chestnut hair out of face and his brow eyes were a mix of emotions. "John, Catty, Len would you laugh if I said I loved that boy?" Len shrugged and walked away, "Like I would care." John followed suit leaving Catty and Sato alone. Catty grabbed a cigarette out of his breast pocket while stifling his laughter. "Ya love the brat eh?" Sato looked at Catty annoyed, "Yes I like the kid kay?" Catty took a long drag on his cigarette, "Well if you love him that much than why don't you keep him? Ya know force em to love ya." Sato sighed and leaned on the nearest bed post, "I know I could but I really love him, I love him in a way that it pains me to hurt him. Besides I already know we will meat again." Catty stood up, "Cause of that freak ability you have?" Sato glanced up, "Ya it's that thing I also know that boy will be the end of me as well." Catty walked to the door and just before he left he whispered, "Sato I really don't get you could you not see that I love you?"

///END FLASH BACK///

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Sato was almost asleep as he herd footsteps coming closer and closer. He could feel a death aura coming his way. "I should have said his lover would be the end of me right… Kanda?"

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**Talk with the characters** (random rant)

Allen: My life sucks...

Linalee: Dont cry Allen... Oh Kanda you're back were is Lavi?

Kanda: Lavi? I dont know a Lavi. Anyways anyone see MikiMuo?

Linalee: she said she was busy and asked me to fill in... why?

Kanda: Oh nothing mugan just wanted to meet her.

Allen: Dont kill her yet you should kill Sato fist.

Linalee: Guys umm well... everyone reveiw please?

Kanda: No i still think I should kill MikiMuo first.

Allen: How about people vote?

Linalee: G-good idea please vote.


	4. End of The Nightmere

**Yes well MikiMuo here and umm ive been REALY busy with school and I finally had time to write but then i got sick so it ended up being EXTREAMLY short T.T**

**Anyways I'm sorry for this fail of a chapter I hope to do Yullen Lemons next chapter to make up for everything. So dont hate me because this chapter has again little yullen **

**I DO NOT OWN ANY THING OF D Gray Man (BUT I WISH I DID) I ONLY OWN SATO AND CATTY(WHICH IM NOT THAT PROUD OF) **

**Please review i don't mind criticism but no flaming PLS**

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**Chapter 3**

Kanda arrived at the order earlier then he had expected to; but he was glad to be back. He needed to talk to Allen. Kanda, although he would never admit it, was extremely worried about the younger boy. Kanda hated that he had to leave him when he looked so weak. Something was wrong and he hated it.

"Komui!" Kanda shouted busting into the directors office. "Oh Kanda, your back." Komui flashed his signature grin. "Where is Allen I checked anywhere he would normally be; and Linalee told me he was not on a mission." Komui noted that his life was in danger when Kanda was like this, so even though he didn't want Allen's training to be interrupted, "Allen is undergoing training to battle the Noah with Sato in training room C24 and oh wait Kanda…" Kanda ran out of the room before Komui was able to finish.

Kanda's mind went wild as he ran 'Allen is training with the guy that made him feel so uneasy. Even though I know the Moyashi is strong, I'm sure that Sato was more than what meets the eye.'

When Kanda reached training room C24 he didn't even try the door before he took out mugan and easily destroyed the door and surrounding wall. Once the dust settled it was too still for a training room. Kanda carefully stepped in and heeded to a lump on the stone floor. As Kanda grew closer he could see Allen's snow white hair and his body covered with nothing more than his jacket. Kanda was enraged to see Sato, beside the broken Allen, sleeping.

Sato woke from his dream feeling Kanda loom over him, "I should have said his lover would be the end of me right… Kanda?" Kanda didn't know what Sato was talking about but he knew that he was going to either kill him or make him wish he was dead. "Why the hell did you do that to moyashi!?" Sato sat up staring sheepishly at Kanda, "Why shouldn't I? Allen belongs to me and you were away and even if you were here he doesn't belong to you either." Kanda hated this guy and the way talked about Allen as a thing to own, "I don't fucking care who you think he belongs to he is his own he can choose anyone he wants to or reject anyone he wants to."

Sato stood up in a battle ready position, "Well how about a match; I win he is mine, you win he is his own." That was exactly what Kanda wanted he couldn't stand to hold his anger in for much longer. "Agree but I can't guarantee your life you scum." Sato slightly smiled "Hash words you use there Yu." Kanda launched forward, "You don't have the right to call my name." Sato ignored Kanda's statement and dodged a blow from mugan, "Oi oi aggressive aren't we?" Sato leaned against one of the near by pillars and brought out a piece of unformed innocence, "Innocence become a sword at your masters command." As Kanda advanced the innocence became a sword black as night. Sato smiled as he blocked mugan with his own sword, "A sword should be fought with a sword right?" Kanda glared and didn't bother to respond. He for one was too angry to think of anything but fighting but most of all he didn't want to talk more than he had to with this scum.

Kanda drew mugan back, "First Illusion, hells insects." Sato's eyes widened; he didn't realize how powerful mugan really was. Sato barley managed to doge and drew closer to Allen using the boy as a sort of shield. Kanda ran to wards his opponent a bit more cautiously "Get away form Allen!" Kanda carefully brought his sword up and sliced just away from Allen and hit Sato's right forearm making him now unable to use his sword.

Sato knew that he had two options now; to run or to die. Kanda didn't give him a chance to decide all he wanted was this person dead. Sato desperately held his sword in his left hand and tried to block Kanda's advancing one. The force that hit Sato's sword pushed him back and away from Allen. Sato held his arm which was dripping blood, his hair was a mess, his eyes were becoming unfocused, and Allen was out of his reach. "Ha, I'm going to die in such a pitiful sate? It seems Allen is out of my reach in the end of it all." Kanda walked up to Sato raising mugan for the final blow. As the sword fell Sato closed his eyes and he felt the warmth of another in front of him. When mugan tasted flesh it was not only Sato's but Catty's as well. The two men fell to the floor with blood pouring out of there wounds. Sato opened his eyes and mustered the strength to speak "Idiot why did you…" Catty turned his head blood dripping out of mouth and whispered, "Because I love you and I couldn't bare to live without you so I would rather die with you." Sato eyes began to blur in his last moments he saw the distant figure and kanda lifting up Allen and his best friend lying beside him. "I wish I had fallen in love with you Catty, I wish I had." Catty reached over to hold his hand as they breathed their last.

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**Talk with the characters** (random rant)

Kanda: Allen is mine and mine only

MikiMuo: Yes I undersand

Allen: ... I thought you said i was my own

Kanda: psht that was just cuz it sounded cool

MikiMuo: Well that would make you no better than Sato

Kanda: *stabs MikiMuo* Dont say that name and you people out there reveiw or i will kill you


	5. Bright dream

**HELLO! MikiMou here!!!! Well its been awhile because of finals and that type of junk T.T but I am back and I hope to post more over the summer for you all!!**

**WARNING FULL OF YULLEN LEMON if you do not like yaoi i don't know why you are reading this story...  
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**I DO NOT OWN ANY THING OF D Gray Man (BUT I WISH I DID) I ONLY OWN SATO AND CATTY(WHICH IM NOT THAT PROUD OF) **

**Please review i don't mind criticism but no flaming PLS**

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Kanda gently laid Allen on the bed and covered the young exorcist with a light tee-shirt. Kanda was able to make it to their room unnoticed and he knew Allen would want to leave it unnoticed. A moan from the bed drew Kanda there in a second stopping his search for a pair of pants. "Allen?" Kanda worriedly leaned over his lover. Allen slowly opened his eyes to the worried face of Kanda. "K-Kanda I…" Crystal tears rolled down Allen's pale cheeks. Kanda leaned down and hugged Allen, "Shh don't worry, Sato will never come after you again." Allen laid back on the bed pain flowed though his whole body and he was tired. Allen slept for hours before a metallic click woke him and he opened his weary eyes.

Kanda locked the door and made a promise to himself, that if anyone dared to open it they would meet their end. He glanced at Allen again; Allen was lying down and was safe, out of reach from any hands that would do him evil but his eyes seemed so empty it made Kanda want to kill Sato again. Kanda looked at the floor once Allen looked at him. "…Kanda I want to forget what happened to me, I don't want to remember being made his when I'm already yours." Kanda sat on the edge of Allen's bed, "Baka you're not anyone's but how do I make you forget what has happened?" Allen sat up reaching his arms around Kanda's neck, "Sleep with me you are the only person I slept with this night, I didn't dream of anyone but you. Please, please Kanda." Kanda's eyes widened unsure of how to respond to this broken Allen. Allen had always kept his own ground and hated to ask for help. Allen had lived with one memory like this for years and another would be impossible to bear.

Allen knew this was the most he had ever asked of Kanda in all the time they were together but he would break apart without this. Allen let go of Kanda and slightly turned away as he whispered, "But if you don't want to you don't…" Allen was cut off by a gentle kiss and a warm hand on the back of his head. Kanda just slightly pulled away from the kiss, "If you need me too I will do what is needed for you." The boys lips connected again; Kanda requested entrance into Allen's mouth which was granted. Kanda lightly placed his hands on Allen's back; although he was almost never was, he had to be right gentle now.

Lightly lifting up the shirt he had put on Allen earlier he placed his hands on the low of the young boys back. Kanda slightly pulled away from Allen's lips and dragged his own down to his neck. Kanda paused as he thought to himself, 'Allen's skin is so broken, it had to be painful already, and can I really control myself?' Allen noticed Kanda pause and as if reading his mind he whispered into Kanda's ear, "Don't worry I knew what I was asking, and please don't forget I am strong." Kanda glanced up at Allen then continued.

Kanda pulled Allen closer to the point were the boy was practically sitting on his lap. Kanda's tongue went to the closest bruise on the pale neck of his lover. His right hand held Allen's side wile his left traced along his strong chest until his fingers found the left nipple. Kanda moved his mouth away from the shorter boy's neck, "Can I take off your shirt or do you want to?"

Allen stopped gripping Kanda's jacket, "You." Kanda grabbed the light shirt with his right hand and pulled it off the boy. Looking at the once perfect chest of Allen made Kanda almost feel sick with hate knowing that these scars would heal but it would take longer for the mental ones to heal. Lightly Kanda pushed Allen onto his back, "You are positive about this if I go any farther I won't be able to stop." Allen nodded

Kanda brought his lips to Allen's right nipple and moved his hand to touch his partner's already hard member. Allen slightly flinched but made no sound so not alert Kanda. Allen moved his hands into Kanda's hair, it was so soft and comforting; he didn't want to let that silky mass go.

Being careful not to pull his own hair, he moved down the body of Allen. Kanda grabbed hold of the younger boy's member and began to slowly pump it. Allen moaned in pleasure motivating Kanda to continue. Kanda sped up and Allen began to pant faster, "Ahh Kanda…" Grinning as Allen began to reach his climax he lightly pulled his hair free and placed his mouth over dripping member.

Kanda moved his tongue around the top of the member while his head bobbed up and down. Allen came in the dark haired man's mouth, arching his back as he did so. Kanda lapped up the spilt seed and looked up at Allen. Allen's left hand covered his mouth while his right gripped the grey bed sheets. Kanda placed his fingers in his mouth covering them with saliva. Sitting up he placed his middle finger at the younger boys' entrance.

"Allen, are you ready?" Kanda questioned. Allen nodded at voiced a quiet "yes" before the finger entered. Kanda knew Allen well and even though he had seen him torn this was about the worst he had ever seen him. Once more Kanda questioned himself, 'Allen in this pain, would he really be able to stand it?'

When Kanda finally voiced this, Allen looked him in the eyes and said, "I told you before I have only slept with you tonight." Nodding Kanda placed his index finger at the entrance and began to insert it as well.

Clenching his eyes in pain Allen tried to think of anything to help him forget who the pain was caused by. Kanda made scissoring movements with his two fingers and although it was slow Allen still gasped out with pain. The taller man paused until Allen had completely calmed down. "Kanda please…"

Kanda inserted a third finger and continued to lightly scissor Allen. Slowly he began to remove his fingers, at which Allen gave a low moan from the loss. Quickly Kanda removed his pants and undergarments and was positioned. Allen clenched his eyes for what he knew was going to come.

Trying to be a gentle as possible Kanda entered the younger boy. As he entered, Allen let out a load moan of pleasure and pain. After a moment Kanda asked, "Allen is it Okay for me to move?" A second later Allen slowly nodded. The younger boy was clenching the sheets so hard that his knuckles had gone snow white.

Slowly Kanda began to move trying as hard as possible not to cause that much discomfort. It was difficult not to get carried away in the pleasure of the moment but some how Kanda swore to himself that he would not go to far today.

Allen began to moan the name of his lover; the younger boy had completely removed himself from anything that had happened earlier. He would forget, he had to forget. Kanda was all that he needed. "Faster K-kanda." Pain and pleasure was all that Allen felt. Kanda was here, was one with him, and was his one love.

Compiling to the younger's wishes Kanda began to move faster and hit Allen's sweet spot with pin point accuracy every time. Allen arched his back up into Kanda, wanting more. The older man began to move faster and harder which made Allen cry out more, "Ahhh ohh ye-yes k-kanda"

Allen began to reach his climax for the second time. Noticing this Kanda lightly pumped him with his hand until Allen came. The taller boy thrust a few more times until he emptied out into Allen. "Ahhhh Kanda!" Allen arched his back as high as it would go then fell back flat onto the bed.

The younger boy's eyes closed leading him into a deep sleep that was much more peaceful than his last. Kanda lightly panting laid down beside Allen both of them covered in sweat and semen. Leaning forward the older boy kissed Allen's forehead, "You should tell me things before they get this bad." Kanda also slowly drifted off to sleep; both of the boys not knowing that they were being watched.

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**Talk with the characters** (random rant)

Kanda: Finally I get my time with Allen

MikiMou: Sorry for the wait...

Allen: I dont like being uke if anyone cares

Kanda: No i dont really care you are a better uke than seme

MikiMuo: Well I hope for reviews and for once no one got hurt in this thing *gets hit by random pan*


	6. On to the next dream

**Hello... Um ya so basicly I died or at least my brain did over summer... then i got back to school and bang i could write again but i was then busy so the moral to this story is never trust your brain yep thats that...**

**Anyhow MikiMuo here with the last chapter I know it took me forever and its kinda quick but i wanted to finish it before i got hit with writers block again BTW i put off my HW for this so be happy (I didn't want to do my homework anyway :D) **

**I DONT OWN ANYTHING JUST SAITO... :D **

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**Chapter 5**

Kanda woke to the setting sun and a loud banging sound coming from the room next door. Trying his hardest to ignore the annoying sound, he moved closer to a still sleeping Allen. After five minutes the knocking had not stopped which forced Kanda to get up and answer it.

After standing the knocking stopped. Annoyed, Kanda opened the door ready to kill who ever may be standing nearby. No one was there; the only evidence that there had been anyone was a pink folded piece of paper. The Japanese man quickly grabbed the paper and shut the door so hard it woke up Allen.

"Kanda?" Allen's voice was horse and a bit lower than normal. Slowly he blinked to adjust his eyes to the bright sun light. "W-what is it?"

Kanda turned away slightly embarrassed, "Ah, someone was knocking but left before I answered…" He glanced back into the boy's tired eyes, "More importantly, are you ok? You look sick." Quickly hiding the note, he reached out towards Allen's forehead. Almost as if afraid, the younger boy slightly backed away and closed his eyes, "I-I'm fine just a bit tired… I will just take a shower and get some food and I will be as good as new." Standing up, he lightly smiled and walked into the bathroom.

Kanda stood, almost shocked at what had just happened; but then again, Allen was just raped the day before. How could he expect Allen to go back to normal just like that? He ran his hand though his long hair and sat down on the bed taking out the note.

The paper was thick and had a light pink color. Kanda unfolded the paper and read it to himself. "I will take the white flower into my hands very soon; that was just the beginning I know much more that will break the boy. It's a race will you find me or will I break him."

Kanda ripped the note into small pieces and threw it out of the room window. Allen did not need to see that. First of all, Allen didn't need who ever this was after him. Clenching his fist, he wrote a quick note and left it on the bed. "Allen, I've gone to train in the forest. Be back soon." Leaving the room, he managed not to slam the door.

Running to the training room, he scanned the floor for Sato's body, which he could not find. Could the bastard have survived? The blood where Saito had laid before was all smudged in an unnatural way, almost as if to hide something. Kanda kicked the nearest pillar - Hard. The tumbling rocks that fell around Kanda did not make him flinch in the least.

Walking a bit farther, the sight of a few black specks on the floor seemed to draw him in. Walking closer he leaned over and picked up black specks; it was tobacco. Scanning the ground again he saw a piece of paper that almost blended into the stone. Unfolding it, Kanda stood up straight and read it out loud, "As I thought, you came right back to where it all happened. You know, you left Allen alone for all this time… will he be safe? P.S. do you get the hint I left you?"

Kanda cursed and hurriedly left the room. His mind was still on the note as he tore though the halls; was Saito still alive or was there someone else pulling the strings; plus what was the hint the note mentioned? Was it the tobacco? Was it that Saito was missing? Was it the fact that he knew Kanda so well?

There where too many questions and most defiantly not enough answerers. Brow lightly coated in sweat, Kanda made it back to the room. Allen sat on the bed hair still dripping from his shower and towel wrapped around his upper body. Apparently he had just put on his black pants and was trying to find a shirt. With a sigh of relief the Japanese shut the door behind him.

Allen looked up at Kanda, slightly worried, "What's wrong you usually spend more time training…" Narrowing his eyes the shorter boy stood up in front of his boyfriend, "Something's going on right? Tell me Kanda." His tone was demanding and held no weakness. Kanda knew that Allen was in no real mood to back down right now, but to tell him might also hurt him. Again he was unsure of what to do.

Placing his hands on Allen's shoulders Kanda sat both of them down on the bed, "Can you wait?" He was pleading now, Kanda really wanted to solve this on his own. He lifted his hands off the other boy's shoulders and placed them on the still damp cheeks. "Please?"

Allen brought his hand up in response to Kanda's actions, He looked slightly away and nodded, "But you have to tell me soon." Kanda nodded as a quick response before he hugged the younger boy whispering lightly, "Thank you." To Kanda it felt like a giant weight was lifted off of his shoulders but he still had plenty more things to worry about. The Japanese man let Allen go and attempted a smile but failed miserably. The light laugh that escaped the younger's lips was the much needed motivation that Kanda needed.

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Kanda walked to the cafeteria carrying a mountain of dishes; he now wished that he had not offered to bring breakfast to their room. Even though Allen only ate half of his usual amount of food, it was still a mountain in Kanda's eyes. Once Kanda managed to make it to the cafeteria, it was entirely empty except for Jerry. Dumping the dishes down on a table, Kanda flopped down into a nearby chair. He needed a few moments to think of the 'clues' that this person had left.

Kanda was almost caught off guard when a dart from behind him came flying at his neck. The dart was shot with deadly precision and probably coated in poison. Growling Kanda swirled around to face the direction the dart had come from; there was not the slightest sign of life. After a few moments he glanced down to the dart; there was a piece of paper wrapped around it. The Japanese man really wanted to destroy a wall or two to get rid of this anger.

As Kanda ripped the paper off the dart a few strands of red hair fell to the ground. Ignoring them he began to read the note, "Seems like you haven't figured out who I am yet so I gave you another clue. Oh by the way did my last note scare you? It was so funny to watch you tear down those halls so worried about Allen."

Kanda threw the note and dart to the ground, if only he could get his hands on this guy. Looking at the ground Kanda finally noticed the strands of red hair lying beside the broken dart. Without thinking he ran to find Lavi, as far as Kanda knew, he was the only person with red hair in the dark order.

Kanda had mugan draw ready to kill when he was in sight of the other exorcist. "LAVI!!!" The deafening scream was enough to alert Lavi giving him the chance to block with minimal damage. Lavi was thrown back by the force that Kanda had put into his attack. It would be a bit of an understatement to say that Lavi was entirely confused by Kanda's attack.

"W-Wha?!?!?" Lavi stood in battle ready poison but still a bit hesitant to move. Looking into Kanda's was like looking into a mad man's eyes. Chills ran down the other boys back. He could almost see the hate and anger that was driving Kanda.

Taking a step closer Kanda tightened his grip on mugan. "You… Allen!" lunging forward at Lavi again he drew blood from the boys hand. Breathing in he turned once more to face Lavi, he was going to die a horrible slow death and pay. He was going to pay.

In a hiding sort of way, Lavi stood behind his hammer, "I just told him I liked him, I really didn't mean to do anything…" Lavi glanced at his hand it seemed that Kanda was really angry but he never thought it would have to do with him and Allen.

Kanda paused, "Told him you liked him? What where those notes? What is with Saito missing? Stop playing dumb and tell me why you put him though all that pain!" Kanda stayed still for a moment eyes demanding.

Lavi somehow knew that Kanda was not in the mood to take 'I don't know' for an answer so quickly he thought of an alterative, "Kanda, are you sure you are looking for me?" The red head hoped he could somehow douse this burring anger in front of him.

Looking away Kanda pulled out the strands of red hair that he brought with him. "Who else in the order has red hair?" Looking back at Lavi he began to edge forward again.

Breathing in deeply Lavi managed to think calmly, bringing out the sought after answer, "There… is one more with red hair" Lavi's voice was quiet and hesitant his answer may be to rash but…

"Who!?" Kanda stood still unable to think of anything but getting back at the bastard who kept hurting Allen.

"General Cross…" Lavi stared as he said this watching his words sink into Kanda.

It made sense, even as crazy as it was. The tobacco… the hair… the fact the Allen was first given to Saito by that man's hands... Drawing his sword back, Kanda stood shocked and unsure of his next move, "Tch, I can't believe…" Turing around he slowly began to walk toward where Allen was.

Slightly annoyed Lavi called after Kanda, "Hey! An apology would be nice." Kanda ignored him for now maybe later, much later he would apologize.

Kanda walked in silence with only the cold tap of shoes on stone to let him know that he was really awake. Also the light presence of another person behind him kept him alert. "Oi, Cross, that's you right?"

As if appearing out of thin air, Cross stood in front of Kanda, "Ya, it's me, bout time you got it." Bring out a cigarette he took a long drag before he began to talk again, "You're wondering why I had all this happen right? Simple because it was a promise I made with Saito and I wanted to push you to your limits to see if you really held true love for the kid."

Kanda took out mugan, "You hurt Allen just for that?" As Cross nodded Kanda ran forward, having every intent to kill the general. When his sword met empty air, it took a few moments for Kanda to relocate the general.

"I had one more purpose for this, to give you both an aim for the future, see ya." And as soon as the general appeared, he was gone leaving Kanda to swing again at the air.

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Kanda slowly stepped into his room; Allen was immediately by his side face full of worry. "Kanda?" The blue orbs sought for the truth of why Kanda was like this and what the notes where about.

The Japanese man sat on the bed and told all. Allen sat and soaked it all in. At the end of it all Allen hugged his legs and looked up to the ceiling, "Kanda, thank you, for everything you did to help me so please for now forget it until a better time comes… and at that time I will stand by your side and we will get Cross back."

Leaning over, Kanda slipped his hands under the boys chin and pulled their faces close, "I need help forgetting Allen." Pulling their lips together Kanda let the deep kiss last as long as he could.

The smaller boy nodded wrapping his arms around the other, "Of course," bring his mouth to Kanda's ear he whispered, "My knight and love." A new dream was about to begin.

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**Talk with the characters** (random rant)

Allen: So is that a happy end?

Kanda: I think it is because we all know what i get

MikiMuo: Bitter sweat end I say

Allen: And we all now know of Kanda's anger problem

Kanda: Hym you say something bean sprout?

Allen: Eh no I didn't

MikiMuo: Review please and I might even add an extra chapter about what the next part, no story just lemons but you know that you... -hit with hammer-

Lavi: Shut up would you!


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